Paddington Meets The BNP
Paddington woke up earlier than usual to the sound of Mrs Bird bustling around in the kitchen. He climbed out of bed, smoothed the creases from his duffle coat and went downstairs.“Ah, there you are Paddington, good job you’re awake early, we’re going to a political rally this morning,” said Mr Brown from behind his newspaper.
“How odd, I wouldn’t have thought they would be interested in that type of thing,” Paddington mused.
When they arrived at the square Paddington was even more confused. There seemed to be a lot of men shouting at people through megaphones; not a car in sight. He tugged at Judy’s arm and asked her why the politicians hadn’t got in their rally cars yet.
“Don’t be silly Paddington! It isn’t a car rally, it’s a political rally. That means that a large number of supporters for a political party all get together to hear the leader speaking about important issues. This is the Conservative Party”“Doesn’t sound like much of a party to me,” Paddington muttered under his whiskers.
There was a man shouting particularly loudly some way away from the main crowd. A small group of people were listening very intently. Paddington decided perhaps this man was providing entertainment for the quieter guests at the party and he made his way over. The man was shouting so loudly that Paddington could barely understand what he was saying. He thought he made out ‘BMP’ which he decided (quite reasonably he thought) could stand for ‘Bear’s Marmalade Party’, which was definitely something he was interested in attending. He spotted a man standing next to the entertainer who didn’t seem to be doing anything, so he strode over to him and tipped his hat at him, as was his custom when approaching strangers.
“Excuse me, but would you be able to explain what this is about? I’m afraid I can’t hear that man through all the shouting.”
“It’s the speaker from the British Nationalist Party,” the man scowled.
“That sounds interesting, I like British things.”
“Ey up, you don’t sound very British to me!”
“That’s because I am from Darkest Peru,” Paddington said proudly.
“You ‘int a Muslim is you?” the man demanded.
“I haven’t really thought about it, I might be I suppose. What would I have to do?”
The man seemed to be getting very angry and Paddington thought he’d best try and make amends.
“Mr Nawaz, Jonathan and Judy’s head-teacher is a Muslim apparently, and he’s done alright for himself so I shouldn’t think it’s the end of the world if you’re one too. Mr Brown sometimes says it is hard for Mr Nawaz being a Muslim in this day and age…” Paddington broke off as the man seemed to be positively red in the face. He also noticed that the other man had stopped speaking and the small crowd was looking at him agape.
“This bear says he’s from Darkest Peru!” spluttered the red faced man. A bit of spittle flew from his mouth onto Paddington’s whiskers. He gave them man one of his hard stares. The man went even more red and looked away, leaving Paddington free to start hunting around in his briefcase for his handkerchief.
“Get back to your own country!” yelled a woman in the crowd, some others joined in.
“I can’t you see, all of my family was killed in an earthquake and my Aunt Lucy lives in the home for retired bears in Lima, so now the Browns look after me…” Nobody seemed to be listening however, and during this long speech Paddington had somehow lost his balance while looking for his handkerchief. His hat was unusually heavy, as he had packed extra marmalade sandwiches underneath it today, which seemed to be what was putting him off-balance. Paddington pin-wheeled into the red-faced man and the entertainer, knocking them into the crowd like bowling pins. Paddington didn’t quite know what to do; he decided he needed to attract somebody’s attention, so he picked up the megaphone,
“Excuse me everybody but I seem to have toppled the British Nationalist Party!” He shouted in his loudest voice. Lots of people from the main crowd noticed him now, and started cheering. The main speaker was also cheering, and soon everybody was chanting,
“Bear! Bear! Bear!”
In the main crowd, the Browns all looked at each other, startled.
“You don’t think…” said Mrs Brown.
“Who else could it be?” said Mrs Bird knowingly.
They found Paddington talking to a policeman, who seemed to take a dim view of his explanation.
“Please don’t arrest Paddington,” Judy begged, “He’s a very peaceful bear, honestly!”
The policeman stroked his chin, “Well, it would be a lot of paperwork. Alright bear, I won’t arrest you, but just remember, don’t fight fire with fire.” He pointed a warning finger in Paddington’s face.
“I certainly won’t officer, that didn’t work at all the last time I tried it.” Paddington said eagerly.
The Browns led him through the main crowd, who had watched the whole affair, and were chanting even louder. A man lifted Paddington up onto his shoulders and everybody cheered.
“Now this is more like a party!” said Paddington happily. “Even if there isn’t any marmalade.”
